Addiction is a family disease.  Families are encouraged to start their recovery when their loved one enters treatment.  However, sometimes family members and friends begin their healing before their loved ones because the pain of living with someone suffering from an addiction becomes unbearable.  Either way, it's family recovery that stops the downward spiral of addiction from spilling over from generation to generation.  This letter from an addict to his/her family gives some important advice. 

To My Family,

I am a chemically dependent person.  I need help.

Don't allow me to lie to you and accept it for the truth, for in so doing, you encourage me to lie.  The truth may be painful, but get at it.  Don't let me outsmart you.  This only teaches me to avoid responsibility, and to lose respect for you at the same time.  Don't let me exploit you or take advantage of you.  In so doing, you become my accomplice to my evasion of responsibility.

Don't lecture me, moralize, scold, praise, blame or argue when I am drunk, high or sober.  And don't pour out my liquor, or take away my drugs.  You may feel better, but the situation will be worse.

Don't accept my promises.  This is just my method of postponing pain.  And don't keep switching agreements.  If an agreement is made, stick to it.

Don't lose your temper with me.  It will destroy you and any possibility of keeping me.

Don't let your anxiety for me compel you to do what I must do for myself.  Don't cover up or abort the consequences of my chemical use.  It reduces the crisis, but perpetuates the illness.

Above all, don't run away from reality as I do.  Chemical dependency, my illness, gets worse as it continues.  Start planning for my recovery.  I need help from a doctor, and counselor, and other recovering alcoholics or addicts and from God.  I CANNOT HELP MYSELF.  I hate myself, but I love you.  To do nothing is the worst choice you can make for me

                Please help me,

                Your Substance Abuser